017. I should tell myself not to overthink it

A text on doubts that don't even make sense and I guess it's 2024 now

So much pressure to write, and yet no one asked me to be perfect at this, not even myself. So why am I not writing??

I wrote this when having trouble putting my thoughts in order and decided to publish it as a blog post:

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Social media is what in a way has caused me to get lost, confused, dopamine-dependant. Like, it used to be this cool virtual place to share stuff and see cool stuff. Get inspired.

So do I really want to use it? So do I really want to participate, making my posts ones of many in a sea of addiction? Potentially contributing to the same social media related problems for someone else?

Anyway, when I was done with Instagram and started the blog I did it because I thought it was a healthier and more genuine way of sharing, and it is easier for me to stick to. I also don’t depend on an algorithm.

But now it seems to have become a bit of a task as the initial motivation has faded. Maybe I just feel like sharing what I do without necessarily talking about it? I don’t know. Maybe the whole issue is that I’m unable to be consistent at anything, even if I like it.

And I genuinely like the blog. Every time I write, I enjoy it. Maybe I demotivate myself by thinking no one cares? Maybe what I’m seeking isn’t just sharing about what I do and like, but also external approval?

In any case, stopping the blog would be a mistake. I think it’s a good format, it serves as a stopping and thinking moment every week and a way to keep a journal of sorts for future me to read. I shouldn’t care if people care or not, I can stick to it from pure enjoyment from doing it.

I just have a bit of an urge for another format? Like Instagram but the old Instagram. I guess TikTok is what that would be now, in a way? I don’t know, maybe it’s not that deep and Instagram isn’t thaaat bad if I learn how to use it in a healthy way? And TikTok also has an attention focused algorithm.

I guess I should tell myself not to overthink it, but then I’ll have to rethink it again in the future because I have not thought about it enough to solve it this time.

Maybe I crave posting on social media again as a result of its own addiction? Maybe I should just not use social media, at all.

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First world problems, I guess.

Is it me, or am I talking about the same things all the time?

Anywho, anyhow, anywhy,

happy new year!!! <3

The last photo I took last year was of a positive COVID-19 fast test! So that was fun. I’m good now but I did have to spend the 31-1 night in bed 🙃 which in some way made the transition into the new year the most careless one so far haha.

New year, so what? kinda moment.

I’m going to be different at the end of this year, just like Sunday me was different from January 2023 me. It’s not the new year that changes things, but the year itself happening.

That sounded mildly inspiring, and it was not my intention but I’m going to leave it hahaha

I got these watercolour markers for Secret Santa and was trying them out yesterday. I like how the lil houses turned out, they kinda cute.

This is a summary of what I’m doing these last days. Uni projects that don’t require much thinking, so I can watch YouTube at the same time, and procrastinating uni projects that do require thinking because I can’t watch YouTube at the same time.

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My 2023 playlist. Every month I make a playlist with songs I can’t stop playing, new songs (for me), songs that stuck that month, or simply were just part of the soundtrack of the month. And every year I combine all of those into one playlist.

The new year had me listening to Cage The Elephant after a long time again yesterday

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